They Said it Would Be Romantic

The bags were unpacked. It was officially time to get back to reality. Luckily, this time around, I had a different outlook on it all. I wasn’t interested in hearing how good everything looked, or how this time would be “the time,” I just wanted everyone to be real with me. I didn’t want a spoonful of sugar. I just wanted to keep both feet on the ground. I made that clear in our next step consultation with Dr. Sawin. There we all were again, me, Michael, and Mom of course. We’re all big fans of Dr. Sawin. He has a sincere and warm personality, but he’s also straight forward. I trusted him to keep me grounded, and he was the easiest of all the doctors to understand. The rest all had really thick accents, and I am easily distracted.

Dr. Sawin broke it all down in numbers for us, explaining the reasoning behind our failed attempts thus far. I don’t know why, but all I kept thinking about in his office was the Hunger Games. “May the odds be ever in your favor.” It was survival of the fittest… but with my eggs. Again… Easily distracted.

Once he finished going over our past three cycles, we talked about the present, and what we could do to up our chances of getting pregnant this go around. The next step was a combination of Clomid and injectables. Dr. Sawin was nervous I would over respond if we moved forward with strictly Gonal F injections. With injectables the doctors only want about four mature eggs before the IUI procedure. Any more than four gets a little hairy, because you become high risk for having multiple babies, and or suffering from hyper stimulation syndrome. So a combination of Clomid and Gonal F injection was recommended for my first injectable cycle.

As soon as the consultation came to an end, and we were finished with our 107th question, we moved into the instruction room with one of my favorite nurses, Mary. Mary was the sweetest, and really took the time to show me how I would give myself the Gonal F injection. She made it look so easy.

Side note: The instruction room can be overwhelming. Make sure you take notes, and don’t be afraid to video the nurse giving you instruction, so you have a video to refer back to. I always recommend having your partner or mom with you, so you have someone else you can refer to in a crunch. Believe me… You might THINK you get it, but come shot time, nerves can easily get in the way and you might forget what to do.

Anddddd we’re back.

Everything got started that night.

I took the Clomid for five days. Then, on day six, I gave myself my first injection. I was feeling really hopeful, and strong. I’ve heard of a handful of stories about people getting pregnant with the help of the injectables and IUI procedure. The first shot went great. I put on the needle, dialed the pen to 50mg, wiped my stomach with the alcohol pad, pinched the stomach fat I wish wasn’t there, and in it went. Piece of cake.

My appointments became more frequent. The doctors wanted to keep a close eye on my egg development. They didn’t want another Kate Plus 8 patient. My follicles were responding fast. By the fifth day, I was instructed to give myself the trigger shot. I remember the doctor looking at my mom and then me, and asking if we would be okay with multiple babies. WOAH is right! He said our chances for twins, possibly triplets was up there. Things were looking REALLY good, at least that’s what everyone kept telling us. Our IUI was scheduled for the next day in Marlton. I thought about telling Michael to collect at the office, so we wouldn’t have to race an hour away and risk getting in an accident, or getting pulled over, “Excuse me officer, can you let this one slide? I have my husband’s sperm in my sports bra and they need to be up my hootch in like 90 minutes, so we don’t really have a time for a ticket today.” Yeah - I’ll pass.

One of my other favorites, Alisa, the front desk receptionist told me the office wouldn’t be open early enough for Michael to collect there, so we would have to do it at home and bring it with us. Cue Mom with the most embarrassing comment ever, “Just do it in the car.” Wait… But… She does have a point…

I’ll spare you the details, it was definitely a story Mike and I look back on and laugh at… A LOT, but it’s not one for the blog. Some things can and really should stay between just me and the hubs.

I will say this. Everything we have done, everything we continue to do, is THE most UNNATURAL way to go about having a child. But we want a child, and the lengths we were willing to go to make it happen, is more than normal in my book. So go ahead and tell everyone how romantic it was the night you and yours conceived a child. There were candles, and music right? Just like the movies? I am so happy for you. We were like the movies too. I like to compare it to Jack and Rose in the parked car scene, only we were under extreme pressure to not be seen by the nurses and other patients walking into the doctors office. #DoWhatYouGottaDo #SorryFutureChildWhoMightReadThisSomeDay

It was time for our IUI. While waiting for Doctor Sawin to come in Mike gave me a kiss, a hug, and then I grabbed his hands, and started to pray the St. Gerard fertility prayer. There’s many versions, but this is my go to:

Saint Gerard, you are honored as the patron of Fertility Issues. By your intercession with God, we seek your help in this challenging and frustrating time. Help us to do the holy will of God, and allow me to be fruitful in offspring. O Saint Gerard, we call upon you and seek your most needed help that I may conceive and we may raise children who will follow God in this life. Pray for us so that God blesses us with the most precious gift of life, and if needed, we ask you of a miracle, as you have helped so many in need. Bless us with a healthy child, we pray. Amen.

We felt confident. We felt strong. This was it.

Dr. Sawin walked in and told us we had a high collection of sperm, our highest yet. We gave each other a high five and had good laugh. Michael was proud, and so was I. We went the extra mile for those guys, and it paid off!

In they went, followed by the long, dreadful two week wait. 

Negative.