The Gloves are Coming Off!

Another next step consult, only this one was about moving forward with IVF. Dr. Sawin already had three chairs set up. He knew he was getting the whole entourage. In we walked. Mom first, then me, then Michael. We started brainstorming a list of questions we wanted to ask. Of course, they all became a blue as soon as the doctor walked in. I was frustrated. I told him I was tired of everything looking so promising, and the end result being a huge surprise to everyone involved. I mean come on… We weren’t just looking at one kid here. We were told to get ready for multiple, and we ended up with zero.

Dr. Sawin explained it like this: Take a dice and roll a three. Perhaps it takes twelve times to get that three. The success rate of IUI is the same as rolling the dice.

Did you know a couple considered ‘infertile’ has a 20% chance of getting pregnant with intrauterine insemination? That’s the same percentage as a normal fertile couple. 20 percent!

Honestly, when I think about this, it makes me want to bend the knee to every couple who managed to get pregnant naturally. It’s truly mind blowing to think about. Everything has to go so perfect in order for you to get those 2 lines on that over priced stick. In fact, if you are one of the lucky ones that think about getting pregnant, and suddenly you’ve got a fetus growing inside… Go play the lottery right now.

Needless to say, the message hit home. We finally understood this could get way more complicated than it’s already been. If only we could have had this ‘ah ha’ conversation earlier. We asked about the cysts. Again, it would have been nice to know I was at risk for corpus lutetium cysts that could potentially cancel a cycle AHEAD of time. The doctor said he could have sworn that was discussed, and maybe it was, but that means Mom, Mike and I all missed that part of the conversation. It’s possible. The consults are an overwhelming amount of information, and sometimes, you only hear what you want to hear. It wouldn’t be the first time and it wouldn’t be the last my selective hearing took over.

So now what? What’s next? If we were to play by our insurance company’s rules we would still have another two cycles of Clomid and injectables before we could move onto IVF and have full coverage, but why would I put myself through the injectables again if they were just going to create cysts, which could ultimately cancel another cycle? Christ, if I went in that direction, Lord knows when I would get pregnant. Maybe 2025. My head was spinning. I was so annoyed. I asked Dr. Sawin if there was a way around the insurance protocol. “Can’t we just tell the insurance company that the injectables are not in my best interest, and open a case to get IVF approved, so we could skip all of this nonsense?” He wished it were that easy. Insurance companies are very strict when it comes to this particular protocol. They want to know you tried everything you possibly could before they offer IVF coverage, but Doctor Sawin was willing to fight that fight with us, if that’s what we wanted to do.

It was a unanimous decision. We are so grateful to be living in one of the 15 states that has an infertility insurance mandate in place, but it was so black and white, and we were gray. It was time to take off the gloves, and prove that we were an exception. I refused to do another round of injectables, and that was terrifying for all of us. My mind was made up, and in the end, if we were denied, that would mean we’d be taking out a $25,000 + loan to pay for IVF out of pocket. Mike and I were willing to take the risk. I knew in my heart IVF is what we needed if we wanted to get pregnant. Mike trusted my instinct, and Doctor Sawin was not shy in telling us he agreed.

IVF is highly recommended for someone suffering from PCOS and infertility issues. It’s even more so recommended when you’re a patient that’s at risk for hyper stimulation syndrome. There is no guarantee even with IVF, but the chances are much greater than the IUI cycles. Deep down, I know the majority of every fertility doctor out there wishes they could go straight to IVF for every single one of their patients, but the insurance companies won’t allow it.

Perhaps they’re filled with 20% of those lucky folks who pop out babes left and right. Whoever made the rules couldn’t possibly understand what it’s like to want a child so bad, and sincerely struggle to have one. If you work for an insurance company that denies people IVF coverage, you suck. Sorry. Not Sorry. No, you don’t make the rules, and you’re just doing your job, but you still suck.

Dr. Sawin agreed to write a letter to the insurance company on our behalf. His letter addressed the details of my past treatment cycles, as well as his recommendations for moving forward. He shared those recommendations for us as we continued to discuss the IVF process. One of his recommendations was to split half of the mature eggs retrieved, and attempt two types of fertilization. Natural fertilization and something called ICSI. ICSI is where they take one sperm and literately place it in a mature egg for a higher chance of the egg fertilizing. We left excited. We were ready for these next steps, but before we continued with our infertility war, we knew we had to win the Battle of Bluecross Blueshield.