God Works in Mysterious Ways
Ever feel a certain way, and then all of the sudden a song comes on the radio and it just speaks to you? Call it a coincidence, but I believe those are the little ways God chooses to communicate with us. I’ve had a lot of spiritual/powerful moments throughout this journey. Not just with God, but with others who claim to see the future, connect with the dead, and read minds.
Let’s start with the psychic, the medium, and the mentalist. I have gone to Cora on the OC Boardwalk before. She was spot on with me in the past, so I thought why not? I was desperate. Things were not working out and I wanted answers. The only problem was my visit came in the off season, and she was not on the boardwalk. I called the number on the door and told her it was an emergency, so she invited me to do a private reading at her home. I went. Again, I was desperate. I’m not sure if you believe in psychics. Some days I’m all about it, others, I’m not so sure. Think about it… when a young looking girl walks through your door wearing a wedding ring, desperate for answers about her future, she’s either A. Fighting with her husband or B. Struggling to conceive. Perhaps there could be many other reasons for the 911 Psychic call, but I was feeling a little skeptical about my decision as I pulled up. Flash forward to her turning my cards over. She started by noting there were some complications between Michael and I. She knew the complications revolved around being able to have a child. She had my attention. She told me I would have 2-3 kids. The third confused her. She told me she knew I was struggling to conceive and the issue was with me and not Michael. She knew exactly how long we’ve been struggling. She knew all of my frustrations, and all of my worries. She knew my husband was a lot more accepting of our journey then I was. She had the answer to the question I so badly wanted to ask, but instead told me she could not give me specific dates. She said there are some things I was not meant to know, and I had to learn to be okay with that. She said something big would happen around my thirtieth birthday (she did not know my age). She said I would either conceive a child, learn I am pregnant, have the baby, or announce I am pregnant, but that was as far as she would go. She did not want to tell me which one it was. Right before I left her house, she held my hand, smiled at me and told me to have faith. Like many, she reassured me that it was going to happen, she even took it a step futher when she said, “the only person not believing, is you.”
Months went by, and the opportunity to have a medium come to my house presented itself. Alaine Porter came to my work and did a group reading. She was hoping we would book her for a player event. We did, because she ended up impressing everyone in the room, even the non-believers. My girlfriend, Deanna loved her experience and wanted to do it again so I told her I would be interested in hosting a group reading at my house. We had to schedule weeks in advance, but the time finally came. There we were, Alaine, Deanna, Deanna’s mom, my girlfriend Michelle and my mom. Alaine explained the process, asked who we wanted to connect with and off in another world she went. Fortunately, I do not know a lot of people who passed, so the people I wanted to connect with were the same as my mom: My great grandparents, and my Poppop Stan. I prayed one of them would give me answers. My great grandparents and Poppop Stan spent a lot of time with my mom. Alaine worked her way around the room, and finally turned towards me. It was my turn. My great grandmother knew I was writing. She didn’t know what a blog was, but she encouraged me to keep writing. She told me people were going to need it someday. And just like that, Alaine turned, getting ready to make another connection with someone else. I was furious. That wasn’t the reassurance I was looking for. Am I ever going to get pregnant? I thought. Suddenly, Alaine turned back towards me. “Your Great Grandmother is with me again. She says you have another question.” I was scared shitless. I couldn’t answer her. I instead started to cry. Alaine said, “her answer is ‘yes,’ and that is all she will say about that.” First the psychic, and now my Great Grandmother. They were both saying the same thing. It is going to happen! Just believe.
For some reason, it wasn’t enough.
I was excited to give it another go at a Mentalist dinner I bought tickets to a while back. It was a fun night out I planned for my Mom’s birthday, and I forced Michael to tag along. At the beginning of the dinner the Mentalist selected some people to write questions down on a piece of paper. We were instructed to hold onto the piece of paper throughout the night. At the end of the dinner, the Mentalist started to call out names, and answer questions. Can you guess what I wrote on my piece of paper? When will I find out I am pregnant? Michael wanted to know what Philly team would be the next to bring home a championship title. We were clearly in two completely different mind sets at the time.
The first person the Mentalist selected was a young woman. He said, “the answer to your question is your time unfortunately passed.” The thing is, he didn’t know what the questions were. He only knew the answers. The young woman looked disappointed. He asked her to say her question out loud. That’s when she said, “I wanted to know if I will ever have a baby.” You could hear a pin drop. The room fell silent. I couldn’t swallow the lump in my throat. I could feel the heat of red on my face. My body was shaking. Please… do NOT call my name. He never did. At the end of the show, the Mentalist came up to our table to ask us what we thought. I asked him why he didn’t answer all of the questions. His response should have came at no surprise, “some questions are not meant to be answered.”
I never asked ‘when’ again.
Two days before my second retrieval, I felt myself start to get overwhelmed with anxiety. I was over the shots, I was bloated, I was exhausted. I was truly so positive up until this point, but my energy started to shift. I prayed desperately for a distraction. God heard my prayers, and delivered.
Some background knowledge before I continue:
My Dad never knew his father growing up. There were many times in recent years he would bring this up and tell us he was interested in finding him, and then for whatever reason he would find an excuse not to. My Mom did some research of her own throughout the years, and managed to come up with a name thanks to one of my Dad’s family members. My Dad never wanted to move forward with the name, because he said there was no evidence linking this man to him, so we all let it go. That’s until one of my brothers bought my Dad an Ancestry.com kit. We all waited anxiously for a very long time for the results. Eventually, my Dad told us his kit came back inconclusive. We never knew what he meant by that, so we just went ahead and ordered him another one. Same thing. One day Michael and I were out with my parents at a brewery and I brought up the kit. I needed to understand how his kit continuously came back “inconclusive” when so many others had nothing but success. He assured me he did everything right, but for some reason he never received his results. After a few phone calls to customer service representatives and confirmation from Dad, I learned he followed all of the steps thoroughly except for the most important one… He never registered his kit. Oh Dad. Ancestry kindly sent another DNA kit, and after registering it for the first time, I made my Dad retake the test.
Dad’s results came back two days before my second egg retrieval. Remember the name my Mom came across a while back? It was ‘Kenneth Arnold.’ Imagine my Dad’s excitement when he saw a ‘Nicole Arnold’ listed as a DNA match. He called me right away. I was FREAKING out. Mom was down here for the weekend with me, so she took Michael and I to dinner and watched as I started my investigative work on social media trying to find a Nicole Arnold that fit. Once my Dad sent her Ancestry profile picture to me, my mission was complete. I found the match. I messaged her without hesitation, and when she replied, I put it all out there. There was no tip toeing around this conversation. She told me Kenneth Arnold was her Grandfather. Our jaws practically hit the table. Just like that a 50+ year mystery was solved. We found my Dad’s father. That night, I ended up getting in touch with Nicole’s father, my Uncle Scott, and we talked on the phone for hours, connecting all of the dots. He was just as mind blown as we were. The next day when he broke the news to his parents, we all learned Kenneth actually knew about my Dad, but unfortunately, had no way of reaching him. My Dad was immediately in communication with his new found siblings, and a trip to Pittsburgh to meet everyone was already scheduled for the following week. It all happened so fast. It was the happiest I have ever seen my Dad. For the first time in his life, you could just tell, he felt complete, and that filled my heart with so much positivity and joy.
March 16, 2019 a Facebook post popped up on my feed. God is saying to you today. “I have a great plan for your life. I am directing your steps. and even though you may not always understand how, just know your situation is not a surprise to Me. I will work out every detail to your advantage. I have perfect timing. Everything will be alright.”
March 16 was the day my Dad got his DNA results. March 16 was the day we filled a very big hole in my Dad’s heart. Our family grew on March 16. Out of all of the days and times for this to happen, God chose this day, two days before my second egg retrieval. God allowed me to be the one to crack the case, because he knew I needed the distraction. He wanted to show me first hand what He is capable of. March 16 was the day my faith was affirmed. Every ounce of my being finally believed. God told me everything was going to be alright, and I sincerely, undoubtedly trusted His word.
If you say any prayer tonight, let it be a prayer of gratitude, for God is good.