Maybe it's What You Need
Just some thoughts inspired by my own personal journey. I hope you find them comforting.
Hurry up and wait. If I had to sum it all up, that’s how I would best explain it. Waiting for bloodwork results, waiting for beta day, waiting to see how many embryos make it to day 5 or 6, waiting for beta day again, and waiting to pick yourself up off the ground when you have a failed cycle. People say there are some things in life worth waiting for. I want you to know, this journey will always be worth the wait.
It’s hard. It’s draining. It’s worth it.
Your story, is YOUR story. I’ve said it before and I mean it. No one is the same. Your diagnosis, your experience, your prescriptions, the way you react to medicines, it’s going to be different. You are going to get advice, and meet so many people who have been down a similar road, but never compare your journey to theirs. Whatever advice you decide to take, please make sure it’s from someone who has taken the time to understand your experience.
Try your best to brush off the people who tell you to just relax, or ask you when you’re planning on having a child. They don’t understand. They might never understand. My line became, “I am doing the best I can, and that’s enough.” Yes, I had people look at me crazy, but it shut them up.
Please do not hold it in. Break the silence. Open up. Confide in people you trust. You will quickly learn you are NOT alone. If you’re afraid to talk to your friends or family about it, go to a support group, or talk to a therapist. There is no shame in this journey. It doesn’t make you any less of a woman. If anything, it makes you more of a woman.
You are going to come out stronger than ever.
Your child is going to be more appreciated and loved than ever.
It doesn’t matter if you are struggling with your first child or your fifth child, you have every right to be upset that you are struggling. It’s scary. No one, not even my worst enemy should have to physically, emotionally, and/or financially struggle to conceive a child. Just because you have one, doesn’t mean you can’t hurt for another.
Insurance companies have no souls.
To the Fertile Myrtles who are afraid to share your baby news with your friends who are struggling… PLEASE SHARE!!! We are not the Devil. We want you to have babies! We want to be apart of your child’s life. I am even more excited now when I find out someone I love is pregnant. Heck, I am excited for people, I don’t even know. Creating life is a MIRACLE. Whether it be easy, hard, or somewhere in between this IVF Mama is so unbelievably, sincerely happy for you. Sure, I might cry when you’re not looking, but it’s not because I am sad. It’s because I am that happy for you, and I cannot wait for our kids to be friends.
This journey will humble you. You will learn to listen more and talk less. You will learn the power of a hug. You will learn to speak up for yourself and your body. You will learn to think twice about your conversation starters. You will become 1 in 8, and that is not a stigma. That is mother f*cking character builder.
Remove can’t and won’t from your vocabulary.
Trust your Doctors.
I read this line in one of my books, and it’s stuck with me ever since… Who you are is defined by what you’re willing to struggle for.
Another quote from one of my favorite books, The Alchemist, which hit home: “The secret of life is to fall seven times, and get up eight.”
Hold
On
Pain
Ends
Believe it’s not IF but WHEN.