Sharing the Good News
Sharing the news is a little different when you’re a fertility patient, especially if you’ve allowed your family and friends in on the journey. There is no right or wrong time to start telling people. It’s on your watch. Most wait until they are through the first trimester, others blurt it from the mountains before the pee finishes drying on the stick. It’s your decision, and should never be judged. Especially after everything you’ve been through. So when did we spill the beans? If you haven’t guessed by now, I am not one to keep quiet. Michael and I enjoyed the news together for a couple of hours, and then we called my sister in law. We had an idea of when we were going to tell everyone else, but we also knew that nothing with this pregnancy has gone to plan, so we were both well aware that our idea of when everyone would find out, could change drastically… And it did.
The very next day, I told my work girlfriends. Outside of my parents, and Michael, these girls were my go to for everything. They saw me every day, and with one look, they always knew what kind of day it was. They cried with me, prayed for me, and never let me lost sight of the end result. They were the first to get appointment recaps, they were some of the first to celebrate and console me during both the good times and the bad. No matter what happened with this pregnancy, I knew they would be there, and so I wanted them to know the news right away. How did I do it? With nice big box of sticky buns. I can’t be the only one in the office with a belly, and one of my girls is preggers, so I knew she’d appreciate the morning carbs. It was one of my favorite mornings at work to date, and the sticky buns, well they were just as good.
Mike and I have waited a long time to tell our parents this news. Neither of them knew the actual day of or our transfer. We tricked my mom, so when the time came, we could surprise her. She thought my transfer was the upcoming Saturday. Luckily, she knew nothing about the bed rest rules, or things I actually had to do on the day of my transfer. She thought I was good to go, which is why she was not concerned in the least that she had planned a 30th birthday surprise party for me at the Phillies game on the very same day. Out of all the dates to pick from, I picked the same ‘fake transfer date’ she did for my birthday surprise. Go figure. My poor husband was living a double lie, keeping a big secret from me, and an even bigger secret from my mom. Michael told me he had a corporate suite thanks to work, and we had to go to the game because “everyone” was going to be there with their wives. I was scheduled to work. , so I found a way to do both. I’d go in for a couple of hours, and then go home, pickup Mike and head to the game. Things changed rather quickly when I started to get violently ill at work. Every 10-15 minutes, I was sprinting to the bathroom to get sick. I told the girls I had to home, and cried the entire drive back. Michael was dressed and ready for the game when I walked in. I told him there was no way I was going. I had already called the Doctor, who assured me it was a not morning sickness. Apparently when you’re pregnant your immune system goes way down, I have a crap immune system to begin with, so lucky me had a stomach bug. The Doctor instructed me to get lots of rest and take it easy. I had zero intentions of going to a Phillies game. That changed again when my sister in law called me. She told me she knew I wasn’t feeling well, but I had to suck it up and make my way to the game, because it was my surprise party. I was furious at my mother in that moment. I did not want a surprise party, especially not now. Besides, I have been avoiding her like the plague since I got the news! We wanted to tell our parents on Mother’s Day, and we were still one week out! Now, I had to go face to face with my mother, who would surely know something was up every time I’d take off to the bathroom to be sick. I went downstairs and told Michael if we’re going, we’re sharing the news. I had to turn this negative situation into a positive. It wasn’t anyone’s fault I was sick. I wanted to make the best of it, and I wanted to turn this surprise around on my family. Mike wasn’t a big fan of the idea. He really liked our Mother’s Day plan, but I told him there was no way I was going to get away with not sharing on this very night, and although he didn’t want to, he agreed. I put on my jersey, laced up my converses, grabbed my letter board, and we were on our way. In between pulling over to be sick, I wrote out on the letter board, ‘Your surprise or mine? We are pregnant!’
We made it to the game, and we were late. They were all waiting for us. Michael started to video tape. I had already given my sister in law the heads up so she was taping for us from the inside. We gave each other a kiss, took a deep breath, and in we went holding the sign. Everyone screamed, ‘“SURPRISE.” Then there was silence. Followed by a whole new level of screaming. My parents, Michael’s parents, my grandfather, my aunts, uncles, my brothers, including my youngest who is stationed at Ft. Drum... I couldn’t of planned it better if I tried. We surprised the hell out of everyone. Aside from running to the bathroom to be sick every 15 minutes, it was an awesome night. Mom and I both made a pack, no more surprises.
As the weeks went on we slowly rolled out the news to more of our closest friends and family. We decided nothing would be announced publicly until we spoke with our employers, and we waited until the 12 week mark to do just that. There is nothing more gratifying than being about to share the good news with the ones you love. Especially with those who’ve known what you’ve been through. I loved and appreciated every second of sharing our good news.
I love being proof that thoughts and prayers, are heard and answered.
The takeaway: When it comes to baby making, baby announcing, it doesn’t always go to plan. Just know it will always work out, sometimes better than you could have ever imagined.
